"Our Business Now Is North"

The BBC is running a series on its BBC Four channel at the moment titled Army: A Very British Institution which is a "collection of BBC programmes about the British Armed Forces......dating back to the 1950s, available online to watch in full". (in the UK at least!)

Tonight, I watched "When TV Goes to War". This programme looks "at how war has been dramatised on British television from the Second World War through the Falklands campaign to contemporary conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan."

Part of the programme features an eve-of-battle speech given to British troops on Wednesday 19th March 2003 before military operations began in Iraq on the 20th. The speech was given by Colonel Tim Collins of the Royal Irish Regiment.



No video recording actually exists of this speech and was recorded only in short hand by a journalist who was embedded with troops

Ever since I heard about this speech several years ago, I have continued to revisit it as a source of rousing inspiration. It turns out it touched a nerve with Prince Charles too.

For me, the topic of the legality of the Iraq war is largely irrelevant here. My interest is in the power of words to communicate passion. Field Marshal Montgomery once said, on the topic of leadership that;

Leadership is the capacity and will to rally men and women to a common purpose and the character which inspires confidence.
I have read this speech many times, and will often read it when I have to write something and need a source of passionate articulation to rally my neurons into action.

Whatever your opinion on the war may be, I encourage you to read this.

Eve-of-battle speech by Colonel Tim Collins
"We go to Iraq to liberate not to conquer. We will not fly our flags in their country. We are entering Iraq to free a people and the only flag which will be flown in that ancient land is their own. Show respect for them.

There are some who are alive at this moment who will not be alive shortly. Those who do not wish to go on that journey, we will not send. As for the others I expect you to rock their world. Wipe them out if that is what they choose. But if you are ferocious in battle remember to be magnanimous in victory.

Iraq is steeped in history. It is the site of the Garden of Eden, of the Great Flood and the birthplace of Abraham. Tread lightly there. You will see things that no man could pay to see and you will have to go a long way to find a more decent, generous and upright people than the Iraqis. You will be embarrassed by their hospitality even though they have nothing. Don't treat them as refugees for they are in their own country. Their children will be poor, in years to come they will know that the light of liberation in their lives was brought by you.

If there are casualties of war then remember that when they woke up and got dressed in the morning they did not plan to die this day. Allow them dignity in death. Bury them properly and mark their graves.

It is my foremost intention to bring every single one of you out alive but there may be people among us who will not see the end of this campaign. We will put them in their sleeping bags and send them back. There will be no time for sorrow.

The enemy should be in no doubt that we are his nemesis and that we are bringing about his rightful destruction. There are many regional commanders who have stains on their souls and they are stoking the fires of hell for Saddam. He and his forces will be destroyed by this coalition for what they have done. As they die they will know their deeds have brought them to this place. Show them no pity.

It is a big step to take another human life. It is not to be done lightly. I know of men who have taken life needlessly in other conflicts, I can assure you they live with the Mark of Cain upon them. If someone surrenders to you then remember they have that right in international law and ensure that one day they go home to their family.
The ones who wish to fight, well, we aim to please.

If you harm the regiment or its history by over-enthusiasm in killing or in cowardice, know it is your family who will suffer. You will be shunned unless your conduct is of the highest for your deeds will follow you down through history. We will bring shame on neither our uniform or our nation.

[Regarding the use by Saddam of chemical or biological weapons]

It is not a question of if, it's a question of when. We know he has already devolved the decision to lower commanders, and that means he has already taken the decision himself. If we survive the first strike we will survive the attack.

As for ourselves, let's bring everyone home and leave Iraq a better place for us having been there.

Our business now is north." _{-- source - Wikipedia}

This speech was dramatised by Kenneth Branagh in the BBC's production 10 Days to War.

Atom Spotting - Getting to Know the World Around You

I am fortunate to work for a company which believes strongly in employee well-being. A happy employee is a creative employee right? Moreover, a happy person is a creative person both at and outside of the workplace.

Our dear leader, and all-round "Jolly Good Fellow" who for the purposes of this blog shall be referred to as Kim Meng-il (although our Meng is popular and would never be so roanree - warning: video contains a naughty word!) has encouraged the holders of thousands of curious minds to continue to develop their curiosity and step into a world which will hopefully, over time will increase their general levels of happiness.

I highly endorse taking some of your time to read his blog Mengstupiditis and just see what you think.

Through the practice of a technique known as Mindfulness, the idea is to both relax (through breathing) and also get to know (through a deep awareness) someone very important - yourself. I like to think of it as "How can we even begin to understand the world around us if we do not take the time to first know ourselves?"

As far as I know, there are no official "stages" of experience or knowledge, but if there are, then I'm still very much at stage 1 (maybe 1.5 if I get extra points by blogging about it? I think so!). I just find it an interesting concept and one to play with as and when just to see what grows if I plant the seeds. My personal interest in it is to see if it can help reduce levels of anxiety that I experience (I call this "tortured genius syndrome" ;))

I've always been a bit of a curious chappy. I like to let my mind wander and see how many of the synaptic gaps I can bridge before I leave this planet. So, leading on from the mindful approach to life, I have come up with my own way to practice this -- Atom Spotting. I haven't really practiced it much, and maybe it will not prove to be useful. I suppose only time will tell!

If you can have train spotters hanging around alongside train tracks, or plane spotters gathering at an airport, then why can't you have people who spot atoms? That is to say that when you go about your daily business, why not look for everything? An example might be walking down the street, minding your own business. But, what if you played "atom spotting" and looked for everything? The clothes people are wearing, what logos are on the clothes, what they are made of, the shades of colour, the fibres of the particular fabric used to make that piece of clothing? Apply this to everything around you (vehicle detail, the fonts on sign posts right down to the small indentations on the pavements on which millions of people have walked) you essentially begin to live the saying "God is in the detail".

So, see how many atoms you can spot. I'm going to give it a go!

Ministry of Creative Solutions

Why isn't there a Ministry of Creative Solutions? I think there should be!

There are all kinds of government departments/ministries, the Ministry of Defence, the Ministry of Justice, and the Department for Education to name just a few.

When given the opportunity, us humans can be incredibly creative. Think of some of the things we have invented? Airplanes, cars, telephones, the internet, electricity, penicillin and dishwashers. When we spend a moment to step away from criticising all the horrible things humans have done/are doing (of which I agree are numerous) but instead focus on all our wondrous accomplishments, you will find a plethora of evidence proves our creativity.

So I believe strongly that more time should be given over to "creative solutions" (see Google 20% time as an example).

Creating a new government department is easier than you may think. Just look at the Ministry of Silly Walks as an example ;)

Therefore, I introduce to you the "Ministry of Creative Solutions", or MCS (using abbreviations - that's another creative solution!). Hotly off the heals of the (albeit satirical) ramblingsfromakitkat election manifesto earlier this year, this new department in the world of Phil shall have the brief of;

"seeking to channel creative solutions to solving problems (both big and small problems) in order to bring about a cost effective and efficient resolution."
I first got thinking about this the other day when watching a clip of the BBC comedy show Mock The Week. The contestants had to come up with suggestions for "Commercials that never aired" (warning: contains adult humour)

One of the comedians (relating to the BP Deepwater Horizon spill) had this pearl of wisdom at 1.45;

"Have you got long dry hair? Could we stuff it down an oil well?"
Perfect! This is creative thinking....true creative thinking where it's OK to be outside the box. Makes you wonder, what if the MCS (remember, that's Ministry of Creative Solutions) had been able to reach out to all hairdressers and ask them to collect all hair left on the floor, bagged it up for the MCS's collection staff? Could this have helped? Well, in this case I don't know. But having a department which could look into these things and know it can act when it can produce something effective would be wonderful in my view!

I wonder what other examples you can come up with to offer to MCS? All ideas (remember they must be thought through so they fit in with the mission) are welcome, and indeed encouraged. Be an ambassador for creative solutions!

Too Much Information?

Buzzing and Tweeting and Facebooking and Blogging -- And these are just the ones I use!

This modern day technological revolution of the world wide web has created a situation in which anyone with an internet connection can communicate and share enormous volumes of information. Essentially a new library has been invented and built by Homo Sapiens Inc. This library houses all of the world's information that is currently known and will share with the largest audience possible future discoveries. It is an information repository of the people, by the people, for the people.

What I often wonder about though is this; At what point does all the information become too much information? That is to say (and perhaps there's just no right or wrong about this), do we (we = all humans who have or will lay a brick in the building of the library) have a responsibility to be more or less judicious in what we share with our fellow bricklayers? Apart from where information has a legal issue (e.g. sharing indecent images of children), which should clearly not be shared (well they shouldn't even be collected in the first place!) is there a line, and if so what constitutes as "Too much information"?

My view....Ha, well I'm actually returning to writing this blog post after leaving it as a draft for a couple of weeks -- mainly because I've been busy, but also because I wanted to have a good think (for all my reader(s?) ) about what to write. Interestingly, they have changed. I began this blog post planning to put across as view that way too much is out there and far too many people are communicating too much pointless information. So, I had a disagreement with myself and I won! (which is probably the best thing about arguments with oneself - can't loose!).

So, revised is my now thoroughly thought through (bit of alliteration for you there!) view....or as I'm going to call it now, my thoroughly thought through theoretical thesis (I'm so clever aren't I!).

There is a saying "Sharing is Caring". I care about myself, I care about other humans and I care about the Earth and its place within the universe. I believe everyone else does too -- some will claim to care more than others and whether that is the case or not, everybody cares.

I also care about, and am a fan of information -- and all that information is. As a simple definition, information is the act of informing. For me, this act of informing is whenever any part of the brain experiences a basic sense of being informed. This could be it knowing it is looking at a photograph of a place or a person. Knowing that it senses a feeling on the body, or that it senses sadness or elation. Knowing that its opinion on the Israeli-Palestinian situation is X. Knowing that 2 + 2 = 4 or that the top of the Eiffel Tower is 324 meters high. There are many more examples I could put, but I hope I have explained what I mean. In my opinion, if you can become aware of it, you have been informed.

The world is a very diverse place with many people having many different views. 6,500,000,000 people, each having between 50,000,000,000 and 100,000,000,000 neurons....you do the maths on the number of possible viewpoints.

Combining these two innate quantities creates someone who believes that the sharing of all information shows that you care about the evolution of mankind.

In this previous blog post, Map-ersonality, I mentioned the volume of geospatial information people have that if shared would create a rather large and exciting map:

"...maps will inherit what I call "Map-ersonality". The ability to explore a map where I can learn not only about the physical nature of that location, but all the stories behind it, the opinions people have of it location and why these exist. This would be the beginning of mapping so much. Potentially this gives a map the amazing possibility - the possibility to hold an amount of personality and power equivalent to that of a human mind.

The land surface of planet earth is approximately 148,940,000,000,000 m2 and there are approximately 6,500,000,000 people and growing. If each person was to give their opinion - a piece of their soul to each square meter (even if it was to say it wasn't a big one), then potentially, a map would contain 9.6811 × 1023 elements. Maybe that's something to think about?"
I believe there are three states of information:

• Factual: That the Victoria Line on the London Underground is coloured light blue. Basically everything you'd find in a traditional encyclopedia such as Encyclopædia Britannica.


• Emotive: All that we experience and feel. Our experiences, interpretations and our opinions. I'll come back to this one in a minute though.


• Mindful: Everything else that we don't notice, but when we play very careful attention to it, we can see it. It is right there in front of our eyes (though it may also be psychological). This is a perfect example of being more mindful. Next time you look out of your window, or look at a photograph, what's there? What's behind the centrepiece of the picture reflecting off the glass in the top left corner?

Now, back to that "Emotive" heading. In psychology, a theory known as Personal construct theory states that "A person's unique psychological processes are channeled by the way s/he anticipates events.".

It is these experiences, each human having millions of them in their lifetime which I believe to be information -- information that I want to have access to and the choice to connect with. This links back to the original statement regarding "Sharing is caring". Think about it, all these experiences which then go onto form opinions on life. Some are big, such as whether or not it was right to invade Iraq in 2003 and some small, whether people can tolerate the taste of marmite.

This quote below, perfectly summarises for me the two primary differences between information, but actually what I personally believe in combining. The facts, and the brain's experiences and the succeeding illusions it creates.

"When we understand every single secret of the universe, there will still be left the eternal mystery of the human heart."
- Stephen Fry (possibly quoting Ludwig Wittgenstein)

So then, what I am saying is this:

I believe in a world of sharing. Not just the ability to look at websites to view facts, see photos or find driving directions. I believe in a world where all of our experiences, opinions can be shared, dissected and put back together again using multiple opinions from people all over the world about everything there is to think.

Internet search company Google has like many companies do, a corporate mission: "to organize the world's information and make it universally accessible and useful.". If ever you have the opportunity to listen to a presentation by one of the senior visionariness at Google, you will hear that this is not just a random motto thought up by the company's marketing department. It is the reason the company exists and first came the mission and then the company and its project. I personally find this very appealing - all the world's information.

So if my notion of a society in which we all make an effort to constantly share our experiences and opinions to enhance the human mind had a mission statement, it would be the following:

"to organize the world's neurons and make them universally interconnected."
That is to say, all the neurons which make up who I am, Phil with every other neuron of every other human. If we do this, we could have a complete human. Every thought that could be had, shared in this global information repository of the people, by the people, for the people. Perhaps some of the greatest discoveries yet to be made can come into existence by the collaboration of all the world's neurons, universally interconnected.

Lastly, I would say this. All these experiences whilst I want all of them to be shared must be better organized. I think we can cut ourselves some slack given this massive evolutionary change. We've still a way to go to sift out (not sift out, just better place) experiences which may give me nightmares (advisory). We can start building more shelves once more information has come in.

So, to end. Send me your experiences and if you like, I'll send you mine. Then together we will know more. I will care for you, you will care for me, we will continue to involve, to evolve, and to solve.

But hey, that's just what I think based on my experiences!

Edit: Some people have contacted me posing the question "what if people don't want to give information, or feel uncomfortable doing so, or could it be dangerous to give people information about yourself (I don't think they meant PIN number, but more personal information about life experiences). This was my response:

Well one theory is that those who don't like to share their thoughts could explain why they feel uncomfortable - not to be judged, but the explanation of what experiences have led them to not wish to share, is itself offering up some neuron interconnectivity. Sometimes sharing might be not be sharing - the NOT sharing (as in what creates a person who with complete entitlement choose not to share) is the shared element.

The Special Escort Group - Whistle While You Work

Recent news articles have reported on new British Prime Minister David Cameron's decision to cut back on his personal security to help him remain "one of the people". The most notable change is the one to not use the "motorcycle outriders" available as part of his motorcade.

There have also been some instances where he has elected to walk short distances (for example from Downing Street to the Houses of Parliament). This is often seen in new leaders who, quite understandably struggle to adjust to a life more in the public eye -- one authorised with more power, access to classified information, and the inevitable risk to their security. Simply Googling obama blackberry will provide a prime example of this.

Steering clear of the whole discussion around whether Cameron is right to do this, I instead shall focus on these elusive "motorcycle outriders", for their job interests me. I don't know why it does, though most likely it's because I'm a guy and anything involving the police, guns and bodyguards gets my interest. So yeah, I'm going to blame testosterone! Also, I suspect there's a little "hippocampal stimulation" (no way is that a real phrase!) going on as I greatly admire those who can confidently and successfully navigate London's maze (where much of these elusive motorcycle outriders carry out their work).

As usual, the press spend little time focusing on all the elements of the story and instead seek to sensationalise it. So you end up with headlines such as (I may have made these up by the way!):

Guardian: "Cameron elects not to use his motorcycle escorts."
Daily Mail: "Cameron ditches bike cops."
The Sun: "Our new dear leader sticks two fingers up to Bin Laden selflessly facing terror threat!"
Daily Express: "Will new PM Cameron re-open investigation into Diana murder?"

So this blog post focuses on a unit of the Metropolitan Police Service, -- a specialist operations unit known as The Special Escort Group


"This elite unit of the Metropolitan Police consists of officers with a range of skills and operational experience from various policing backgrounds. One motorcyclist (lead bike) positions himself in front of the escort, controlling the pace and position of the escort, whilst the others forge ahead, dealing with traffic situations and advising the lead bike of the safest path through the traffic they are controlling. SEG officers on BMW motorcycles, use whistles in preference to the sirens on their motorcycles. This reduces the level of noise that precedes an escort and reduces the environmental impact on the escorted person and general public.

Officers from The Special Escort Group are among the few police motorcyclists within the UK that carry firearms openly whilst riding."
- "Sourced from Wikipedia under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License."

It's a well regarded opinion that one of the biggest threats faced by a motorcade is when in a stationary position. The old adage that "a moving target is harder to hit" certainly applies here. At the same time, it is much less accepted in the UK that even a VIP (royal, or ministerial) and their close protection team should be able to cause much disruption to the lives of every day citizens. So the policy of completely closing roads and shutting down cities to allow a huge motorcade to pass for the visit of the Prime Minister or Queen would be met with much disdain and anger. Instead, a much more low-key, hassle free stance is taken. This approach is in generally much different to that of the U.S. authorities -- and that's not to criticise this method, it's simply to highlight the differences.

I have never seen the Special Escort Group in action, but hope to do so one day as I'm a sucker for watching the work of masters.

On doing a search for further information about the Special Escort Group, I came across a very interesting article (one which I recommend reading) written several years ago by a journalist who had the fortune of riding with SEG. The video (sadly it's been edited to have loud music in the background - I'm presuming to block out the important transmissions) which goes with the article is also available here.

Below are a few examples of the Special Escort Group (SEG) in action. I just love how quaintly British the use of their whistles to control the situation is. Perhaps we're just too desperate not to offend anyone!

(Note that some of these videos are quite jerky so might not be suitable for those who don't cope well with those things)

You can hear many whistles from the bikes that have ridden ahead here



Princess Anne motorcade. Good view of the officers controlling the situation



Kate Middleton Motorcade




Former Prime Minister Gordon Brown on his way to Buckingham Palace to resign.



Prince Charles being taken through the streets of London.



A surprise for one cyclist riding around London.



Another good example of quick control of the traffic.



You can see more photos of the "Special Escort Group" on Flickr.

Map-ersonality

So, I have been watching with fascinating the BBC Four documentary series The Beauty of Maps. I watch this with a level of excitement matched only by seeing Angelina Jolie and her pouty lips in a film.

As I have previously written, I have a real passion for all things map related.

"Ultimately, geographic information is adopting a new stance whereby this geographic information is instead becoming information, geographically. An ever evolving web of uniquely distilled user-created knowledge is dispelling the myth that a map has only a small repertoire of uses."
Part of Tuesday's episode (the link may not work for viewers outside the UK) showed the work of an artist by the name of Stephen Walter, the creator of a piece titled "The Island".

"Stephen Walter's contemporary image, The Island, plays with notions of cartographic order and respectability. His extraordinary London map looks at first glance to be just as precise and ordered as his hero Rocque's but, looking closer, it includes 21st century markings such as 'favourite kebab vans' and sites of 'personal heartbreak'."
On the one hand, I applaud Mr Walter's efforts. Indeed the map is a wonderful and creative piece on which the artist celebrates his life's experiences through geography. For that, I hope you will visit his site and with admiration, pay close attention to the detailed and diligent efforts required to create this work.

I do however have a problem with a quote given by the artist, Stephen Walter. So, the joy I experienced with learning of his work, was met with disagreement at his comment;

"I think this is a certain time in human history where so much is already figured out and mapped."
I disagree strongly that "so much is already figured out and mapped". I don't think we have even begun to scrape the surface.

In my opinion, maps up until very recently have primarily been sources of the simple form of where things are, how one would get from point A to point B, or that Shaftesbury Avenue goes to Piccadilly Circus in London. This as far as I'm concerned is extremely basic data (I agree however it has not come about easily or quickly), essentially showing a bunch of trigonometrical aspects. There is no emotion, no personality to this data -- I believe a true map should encompass the scientific and the emotive.

"When we understand every single secret of the universe, there will still be left the eternal mystery of the human heart."
- Stephen Fry (possibly quoting Ludwig Wittgenstein)

From my perspective, maps have a personality, a history, a story behind them - they have a soul. Undeniably a location is about a specific location - one with a longitude and latitude, but they have so much more - and I don't believe we will be anywhere close being able to say that so much is already mapped until these are easily and regularly included in a map.

Historically, maps were for the elite to show how important they were - that their region was so important, it was worthy of the cartographer's efforts to set out on an expedition to create an accurate map of the area.

Now, at this defining moment in history where geography and technology cohabit each others lives, I am most optimistic that many more maps - perhaps even the maps which we accept as the new official (non-Ordnance Survey type data) order of maps will inherit what I call "Map-ersonality". The ability to explore a map where I can learn not only about the physical nature of that location, but all the stories behind it, the opinions people have of it location and why these exist. This would be the beginning of mapping so much. Potentially this gives a map the amazing possibility - the possibility to hold an amount of personality and power equivalent to that of a human mind.

The land surface of planet earth is approximately 148,940,000,000,000 m² and there are approximately 6,500,000,000 people and growing. If each person was to give their opinion - a piece of their soul to each square meter (even if it was to say it wasn't a big one), then potentially, a map would contain 9.6811 × 10²³ elements. Maybe that's something to think about?

Of course, a more accurate figure would be far less as each person cannot give an opinion on each m² - however, what we can all give is a large volume of our a soul to several locations, so the actual volume of information could be just as high? I don't know, maybe!

So, have we already "mapped so much"? Nah, still plenty more powers of ten to go and the addition of the human soul alongside the M25.

So with those mind-boggling figures, I will end this post.

But next time you look at a map, or are participating online to build a future map, consider...

I approach each day as if I know so little about maps, except from one thing. I have a curiosity about them.

The Ramblingsfromakitkat Manifesto

Well, the UK General Election is less than three weeks away now. For the first time, I am completely undecided as to who I will vote for (and I will be voting!). I know it will be either Labour, Conservatives or Lib Dem (in a general election, I choose to vote only for one of the big three)

And so, inspired by the Official Monster Raving Loony Party's Manifesto, I bring you mine.

More will be added as I form more policies.

Grammar:
If elected, I shall order the Oxford English Dictionary to find an alternative for the word procrastination. It is unreasonable to have such a long word for people who most likely cannot be bothered, nor feel compelled to write all those letters. My party shall propose the word procrastination be replaced with the letter Q as this comes first on computers.

Working Hours:
Increasingly, doctors and other health care workers are understanding the importance of good employee health benefiting the company. More people seem happier at the weekend. Therefore, I shall reverse the working week/weekend numbers to a 5 day weekend and 2 day working week. This way we'll all be more happy and get more work done on the 2 days when we do have to work.

Law:
All courts and tribunals handling family and divorce cases would be issued with ample supplies of Birds Custard. This would help in custardy battles.

Defence:
I believe we are not using the A-Team to its full potential. I therefore propose full reinstatement of the A-Team with a view to deploy them immediately into theatre in Afghanistan. Also, because many of the local forces that we are committed to train in both Iraq and Afghanistan have limited resources, I propose that all foreign forces trained by my government are done so by MacGyver. This will ensure they are most effective even when available resources are low.

New Years Honours List:
If elected, I shall recommend to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II that she gives the title "Order of the British Empire" to Obi-Wan Kenobi. This will give the character the full name of Obi-Wan Kenobi OBE. (is it obvious I know nothing about sci-fi?)

Air Travel:
In light of the recent disruption caused to air travel by the Icelandic volcano eruption, a new law would be passed requiring all commercial aircraft to carry the drink "Red Bull". Red Bull gives you wings, and therefore will act as a back up mechanism should the plane loose stability due to ash intake. This backup would ensure aircraft can continue to fly.

Farming and Agriculture:
I shall ensure that all spiderpigs are free to do whatever spiderpigs do.

Animal Welfare:
The RSPCA will be instructed to ensure that all meerkats are found in groups of at least two. This is to enable the public to effectively compare the meerkat.

Mental Health:
All psychiatric hospitals will have trampolines placed on the ground below each window. This is to prevent injury and encourage humour (therefore curing them of their problem) amongst patients aiming to escape.

Also, I shall make it law that anyone who has suffered with depression for six months or longer is required to change their name to Annie, regardless of their sex. This is to create the conditions for people caring for these individuals to lighten the moment by saying "Annie are you OK? Are you OK? Are you OK, Annie?".

Climate Change:
I will create a task force to dismantle all greenhouses and prosecute any gardener who continues to flout the law and use them. This will have an impact on the effectiveness of greenhouses, therefore reducing the greenhouse effect.

Health:
The cost of cigarettes will be halved and re-engineered to suck in carbon dioxide, therefore removing the remaining effects caused by greenhouses. All pieces of fruit and veg will be made smaller. This increases the chances that people will be able to eat their recommended 5 per day. Tomato ketchup will also count towards your five a day (that's per squirt, so five squirts will provide you with your recommended daily allowance).

Transport:
As an alternative fuel source, all vehicles will be powered using the energy generated from burning the excrement spoken by politicians. National Express will be renamed "National" to remove the misleading word "express", which implies speed.

Green Transport:
Taking a leaf out of Mary Poppin's book, I will invest in the research to test the suitability of using flight-capable umbrellas (which require only wind) as the next form of public transportation to replace cars. And I shall also ensure that Rhianna only has one umbrella, and not several "ella's" on top. This is greed and we as a society must curb this.

Family:
I will make sure all parents have three children. Parents must raise their offspring to ensure one of them weighs significantly less than the other two. This policy will restore the 2.4 children factor which proved to be the bedrock of a stable family life for so many years.

Economy:
I will allow all children (and adults providing they obtain the necessary license) to spend chocolate money, which will be given official monetary status as the secondary currency throughout the British Isles. The cost of kit kats will also be reduced by 90%.

Race relations:
I will advocate a society in which all races are given equal consideration. All athletes will have to participate in at least one other race and give at least 50% of their training time to this event. Any athlete found to be disobeying this law shall be prosecuted as being race-ist.

Crime:
Anyone wishing to be a police officer will not be allowed to join the force until they have mastered the "walk from The Bill". Paperwork will be reduced by requiring all reports to be filed via Twitter. This will also ensure transparency.

Tourism:
I will rename all tourist locations to ensure confusion and disappointment cannot reign. For example, Piccadilly Circus will be renamed so people do not expect to find a trapeze artist upon arrival.

Entertainment:
A law will be introduced to make it illegal for anyone over the age of 10 to purchase a Harry Potter book. Also, the Sun newspaper will be renamed to make it more representative of the British weather. It will be now be called "Overcast with a chance of rain"

Technology:
Any piece of technology used to gather mapping data from ground level, will be referred to as a satellemite. This will continue the stalagmite (rising from the ground)/stalactite (from above) order of words. Satellites, providing the data is aerial/orbiting will remain unchanged.

Immigration:
Due to the increasing problem of hospital acquired infections, I would to ensure that Britain's immigration policy also encompasses bacteria. In a new step, only friendly bacteria would be granted entry into the United Kingdom (such as the type found in Yakult). Bad bacteria would not be allowed in and the newly created Border Protection Force shall be provided with ample supplies of Dettol antibacterial spray.

Freedom of Information:
It is believed that nowadays, there are too many public inquiries. If elected, I will hold a public inquiry to investigate why there are so many.

Public Holidays:
April 1st will be made a bank holiday. It will be referred to as "Boris Johnson day".

Sport:
The theme tune to the BBC Snooker coverage shall be replaced by "Snooker loopy nuts are we".

2012 Olympics:
A new sport of "being British" shall be introduced. This is to ensure that Britain will win at least one gold medal during the Olympics for which we are the host nation.

Religious Integration:
I shall recall my ambassador to the Vatican City, unless the Pope meets our demands and answers the question "Why, if we, the people are created by God, do I sometimes bite my own tongue?" It is unacceptable to believe that the same being who created the Grand Canyon would have made such an error with humans.

Civil Liberties:
To ensure that our security services (MI5 and MI6), do not believe they are above the law, it is my policy to verify whether James Bond has a license to watch TV.

I'm Feeling Lucky

Well it's official, I'll be voting in the general election.

To me, this small, innocent looking piece of card makes me feel fortunate and appreciate what my grandparents (and their compatriots) did for us, along with the continued commitment being made right now around the world that allows these bits of card to be issued.

Yes, Prime Minister

So, on Tuesday 6th April 2010, British Prime Minister, Gordon Brown called a general election for Thursday May 6th 2010. On Tuesday morning, Gordon Brown visited Buckingham Palace to meet with Queen Elizabeth II where she granted her 11th Prime Minister permission to dissolve parliament, while the campaigning and election of a government takes place.

The question is, who will win? Will it be Labour? (the current government), will it be The Conservative Party? (the main opposition party), and how significant will the role of the Liberal Democrats be? (traditionally not considered to be the main opposition but are included in the list of the main political contenders in British politics - there are three).

My view (and since you are visiting my blog, you must care on some level what that is!), is this. Many people (or enough that makes a fourth term look unlikely) feel they have had their full dose of Labour and are ready for change - they have been in government since 1997 (in the UK there is no maximum term in office for a party). Few people (or few enough people who'd vote for them because they felt they were the better party) actually want the Conservatives to win because they are unlikely to deliver real change and improvement, along with much disillusionment still remaining in the mind of the electorate from their previous time in government. So that leaves us with the Lib Dems....I think this is the party most people would feel the greatest connection to (if the modern day electorate feel any positive connection to the parties), but are still unlikely to vote for them (in numbers required to give a victory) due to the fact that whilst the Lib Dems are classed as the third main party, in reality many people regard the election as a two horse race, and people would not vote for them because they would be in too much doubt that their fellow electorates would do the same. So basically, not enough people will plan to vote for Labour (because they don't want them), not enough will plan to vote for the Conservaties (because they don't want them), not enough will plan to vote for the Lib Dems (because they don't think enough will, and the psyche as I say remains that this is a two horse race) - which is a real shame as I think now, more than ever, it would be healthier if they were in real contention - maybe they are. What result all this will create, well we'll have to wait and see.

As for voting. Voting is for me a must and this week, I will be checking my voting status is up to date*. I believe very strongly in exercising my right to vote. When I vote, I vote for three reasons.

1. I can. Many people in many countries cannot and whilst people could argue for hours over whether there is much point nowadays when "ultimately they're all the same and won't do anything once in (government)", I feel very lucky that I can choose, in complete freedom who I feel best suited to lead my country and do the best (or least worst perhaps!) for me.

2. My grandparents. I can vote because of their sacrifices in WWII and previous wars. I should honour that.

3. Aside from the history, rights and freedom, I still believe it's important to have a voice when invited to.

So, who will I be voting for? Well....I have a democratic right to privacy and not to say. At this stage however, I can honestly say I am undecided. I like the idea of a victory by the Official Monster Raving Loony Party, but it's rather unlikely - and they're not standing in my area anyway!

Happy voting people!



* = I called my local voting authority and was told I'm still up to date and able to vote! Great!

Breaking News...

So, I have a modern day gripe about news. I enjoy watching the news (although don't think there are enough happy stories in it). I think it's important to keep up to date with what is going on in our world.

What bugs me is the (in my opinion at least) over-use of "Breaking News". Most likely, because nowadays many of the major networks have their own rolling 24 hour channels and they have to try to keep interest up.

To me, the term breaking news should be used as it once was (exclusively for major stories) and not for 'new news'....I can conclude from the word "news" itself that the clue in how current I should expect the information to be is in the first three letters! Instead it should be for when a story of great significance breaks, that is truly world changing, affecting potentially millions of people.

As far as I'm concerned, "Breaking news", is a term to be used only in the announcement of news such as a terrorist attack, the assassination of a leading figure, a natural or man made disaster, significant threat to public health or safety, significant political event or declaration of war etc. It should not be used to announce the resignation of a minor celebrity from his or her reality TV show, or the England football manager naming his squad for an upcoming match.

Taking a quote from my manager, a very inspirational man, best describes this situation:

"When people (journalists, politicians, TED awardees, etc.) want me to be excited about something I ask myself, "Will this matter in 1/10/100 years?" This test helps you get through the news efficiently in a few minutes and most political conversations in few seconds. Best part is that it frees time to engage in important issues like education, clean water, valid elections, ocean health, and interpersonal concern."
I would much prefer news makers to take the attitude of considering the impact the breaking news story actually has. Perhaps one solution would be to have a new phrase, or scale of breaking news.

At the moment, if I have the news on the TV on in the background (often on mute), or pottering around and I see the "Breaking news" ticker appear on screen, or the news presenter utter "We're just getting some breaking news", I have no idea whether I'm about to hear that nuclear war is starting and I should probably not bother setting a programme reminder, or a golfer is apologising for not being able to keep his pants on (which really should not by classed as breaking news in my view!). Maybe Breaking News 1 (news just in) and Breaking news 2 (terrorists attack a major world city) are needed. Personally, I'd rather just cut out the 'news just in' and go back to breaking news only being something significant.

Well anyway, sometimes I decide to write a blog post but don't necessarily know what'll unfold. Today, my neurons just happen to make these thoughts.

There Are No Tigers In Africa

So, apparently there were some people in Africa who died today because of lack of access to basic clean water. Still, main thing is Tiger is sorry....

There is something very wrong with how news is broadcast sometimes.

To Prance Or Not To Prance?

With the aim of making the BBC's news and current affair shows more accountable to the viewer, NewsWatch is designed to connect programme editors with viewer questions of all kinds.

One item I found interesting from this week's show was the issue posed regarding the pronunciation of Port-au-Prince. In light of the devastating earthquake there, the place name has been said many times. But, is it Port au Prance, or Port au Prinss?

Well, it seems the BBC has a BBC Pronunciation Research Unit, and according to their website,

"Our aim is to ensure that pronunciations used on the BBC are accurate and consistent, and our advice is free of charge to independent programme makers producing BBC programmes as well as BBC staff."
So, here is their answer on How to Say: Haiti and Port-au-Prince

"In the case of Haiti and Port-au-Prince, we recommend the established anglicisations HAY-ti (-ay as in say, stressed syllables in upper case) and PORT-oh-PRINSS (-i as in pin)."
So, there you have it! I don't really know why that interests me, but it just does.

Get Your Hands Off Our Sweets!

This article, by Tim Richardson in the Guardian, titled "Get your hands off our sweets!" was a really interesting read for me.

So, basically Cadbury, a British confectioner and one of the best known brands in the UK is under threat of a takeover from US based Kraft Foods. That's right, our evil cousins across the pond are trying to dent the heart of one of the finest British institutions and crush the way we calm our anxieties of the world by tucking into a bar of dairy milk! We helped them out in Iraq, and this is how they repay us?! Are you detecting a hint of sarcasm in this yet?! Hopefully, as I'm quite fond of them.

Actually I'm not even sure it's the fact that an American company is bidding to take over Cadbury - I'm sure the reaction would be the same if it was another country.

My take on it, is that it summarizes this weird sense of patriotism that us British folk have - and not just patriotism, but what really gets the backs up in the mind of the British psyche. This is perfectly explained by what Tim Richardson says here;

Bankers' bonuses? Annoying, but what can you do? Utilities bills rocketing? C'est la vie. Americans taking over Cadbury? Get your hands off our sweets!

Say Dairy Milk, Crunchie, Curly Wurly or Flake to any British person, and their hippocampus will immediately fire into action and recall feelings of comfort and safety from a time when all was calm, familiar and innocent.

Tim Richardson also adds;

And it's not just the jobs under threat – 30,000, according to the trade union Unite – or the potential upheaval of a Victorian institution from its Bournville home that voters wouldn't like – it's the fact that the sweets themselves would be threatened.

I agree mostly with this, though do feel it is just as much the threaten to this British institution that causes so much upheaval. I don't know for sure what it is, but my theory is two things cause us to feel this 'protectiveness' over the brand and its heritage (which is emphasized by the company making something so familiar and comforting):

1) Britain was once an empire. Many previous British territories are now independent. Our reach was great, our navy formidable. We all know how powerful Britain once was from our history lessons at school. This strength has, as all empires past, present and future experience at some point, dwindled over time. But trying to take our sweets? That's just crossing the line ne c'est pas? The final straw - Britain should loose no more ground! And this in my opinion causes such a strong reaction.

2) National identity. At the moment, many British people feel our national identity is....well, unidentifiable. What are we? Are we Christian? Are we White? Are we tolerant, if so, do we want to be any more? Politically, this is demonstrated by an increase in people voting for far-right parties who's policies (they say!) would protect the typically historical image of a 'White British' person. Yet, here we are, another 'bunch of foreigners' coming over to steal a much loved 'safe' brand, ripping out yet another piece of our soul. I should emphasize that I do not personally agree with the views of far-right parties. My comments are more what I view as being part of the psychological construing that creates this unease about taking our chocolate away from us.

But, Phil, isn't this just about business and chocolate? Well, from a financial analyst's perspective - Yes, I'm sure it is! Are a significant percentage of the British population statistical financial analysts? No, hence our looking into our inner beings and looking for a threat!

Either way, we shall see whether it is Kraft, Hershey, or the Cadbury shareholders that win the golden ticket. The British people? Well, perhaps for now we should just eat some dairy milk to calm our nerves.




Update: Well it looks as though our sweets are going to be taken over! - "Cadbury agrees Kraft takeover bid" (source BBC News)

By The People...

This evening, I got watching what proved to be a very interesting documentary on the BBC, titled By the People: The Election of Barack Obama.

Although the show focused much on how Obama and his campaign team organised themselves into the eventual winners of the election, what really struck me more than anything was the shear passion and dedication of all of those 'every day folk' who involved themselves in the campaign, essentially putting their lives on hold and investing their time and effort in this one man and what he stood for.

As someone who has has spent much time in the U.S. and has several American friends, I am lucky to be able to observe the psyche of our cousins across the pond. It is this open, unashamed excitement and passion that is one of the major differences between the British 'reserved' way and America. In one scene, the documentary showed a panoramic shot of the stadium in Denver where Obama officially took the democratic nomination. Both the volume of people and the emotions exhibited really stand out as something we do not have in the UK. Put simply, imagine if you will Gordon Brown (or any other Prime Minister) filling Wembley stadium, having 100,000 people on the edge of their seats hanging with admiration on his or her every word? It wouldn't happen.

As for the specifics of politics - well that for me is not the issue here. I simply found this "I really can make a difference even though I am 1/300,000,000" state of mind fascinating to watch and judge it only as "Wow, us humans sure are weirdly spectacular creatures".

Naturally I have a fondness for America, and though yes it has its flaws like we all do, the world sure would be a dull place without it!