They made their instruments sing...

A few years ago, I wrote about my discovery of a hugely talented musician, Ludovico Einaudi (pronounced Ludoviko Ine (like in wine or dine) Audi (like the cars) ). Since then, my interest in him and admiration for his composing skills have continued to grow. Last Friday, I had the privilege of seeing him perform live.

It was one of the best concerts I have ever been to in my whole life. Spellbinding is the word I would use. He is primarily a pianist/composer and usually sticks to solo piano work. For this concert however, he had an orchestra with him to carry and emphasise his beautiful melodies. I went with my fab Mum to see this, and she described the experience as being in a place where together, Ludovico and his orchestra "made their instruments sing".

Earlier this year, he performed a warm up concert in London for this tour and a sample of this concert is available to watch online here. Obviously, it doesn't capture the full atmosphere of being there live, but perhaps if you watch it in full screen, switch off the lights and turn the volume up, it'll go some way.

Here's my favourite one, available on the video, "Waterways" is below. I hope you can spare a few minutes to watch it.

My all time favourite song of his is I Giorni, which he did play at the concert I saw, but it's not available in the video linked to above).

Thank you Ludovico for a magical night out. I won't forget it.

I want this person to be happy

My name is Phil, and I was born in 1982. I was brought into this world naked, kicking and screaming. I had no background to me (OK, perhaps I caused my Mum 9 months of discomfort and if asked, she'll tell you that this is still the case 31 years later!).

I didn't really want anything. I just needed to be kept warm, fed and watered. Other than that, I was just this little thing (some would say I still am!) who had the deepest of desires to be happy, content and not suffer as my life developed. You were the same. Everyone started like this.

No-one sets out to hurt people (I know there are some mental illnesses than mean people have certain thoughts/visions about hurting people, but they're still born with the desire to not suffer in life. In fact, if anything, I would suggest these people's desire to not suffer is greater than the average person's.). We just want to get on with our lives and wish for them to go pretty well so that we can smile lots, and enjoy our existences.

“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.” 

 -- John Lennon

As we get older, there are things that can make us feel happy/sad. Jobs, relationships, health concerns. Emotions, especially the experience of anger play a significant role in the levels of happiness we can experience, especially when in conflict with other people. So, I've been trying something for a while. You know what? It's working (oh, and it didn't cost me anything, or have any negative side effects). 

It's called "random intentions of kindness", and if you're the sort of person that likes to understand something's background, it traces its routes back to Buddhist meditation. I'm not a Buddhist, or aligned to any other religion. However, I do have an interest in the westernised/scientifically studied (I need my science, people!) practice of "Mindfulness". I think I just find it useful to have my interest hooked onto something, but, if you're not of this personality type, that's fine, you can read on and give this a try if you like.

So this "random intention of kindness thing then...It's quite simple really. It's based on reminding yourself of specific human similarities when dealing with any other human. Reminding yourself of these helps to reduce feelings of anger, which invariably lead to conflict and reduce your likelihood of experiencing happiness. I've already touched on these three key similarities above, but to go over them again, they are:

Each person is a human being, just like me. (if you're already angry with them, you may be finding it hard to think of them as human, so if that's the case, perhaps start off physically....they have a head, eyes, cells, skin, toe nails etc etc)

Each people wants to be happy, just like me.

Each person wants to be free from suffering, just like me.

Therefore, I want this person to be happy.

My experiences have taught me that by practicing this regularly (this is very important), I am able to feel less frustration with people, remain calmer in a greater number of situations, and have healthier interactions with my fellow species.

My preferable way in which to practice this, is to go out for a short walk each day, and randomly glance at a few people, pay attention to them and say to myself that "I want this person to be happy, reminding myself of those three key human similarities". 

Practicing with different types of people helps too. So, for example, I may include a homeless person, a person getting out of a Rolls Royce, a different sex, or age. If I'm finding it hard to bring about a sense of compassion for this person, I can refer back to the purely physical components of being human, and then, I may say to myself "I am sure this person does have something causing them unhappiness. Perhaps they're unhappy with their job, perhaps there's a family member they're worried about, maybe they're having money issues". Hopefully, none of these people will have those concerns, and my wishing them happiness is wishing them even more happiness than they already have in their already happy lives. Wouldn't that be nice? (Yes Phil)

It does feel a little strange at first to do this, and probably during the beginning, the habit of thinking "chav/snob/down and out" will feel like it's reigning freely. But, like anything you want to become more skilled at, you just need to repeat it over and over again. It will become easier, and crucially, your ability to switch on this "ahhhh, woaaaah, wait a minute....this person is a person like me etc etc" behaviour, will assist you in conflicting scenarios.

I would recommend that you watch this video (all of it if you have the time), but for the purposes of this blog post, the bit between 30.10 and 33.00 minutes is relevant.

I wouldn't say that I've become an expert in this yet. I still get pi**ed off with people sometimes. I still find myself having a bit of a rant. I still find myself engaging in prejudice thinking. But, less so. I feel that I have a kinder outlook to people, even those that have done bad things and I've found this part very interesting and sometimes a little confusing to be honest. It's not that I think what they've done is good. I will still be of the opinion that what they did (let's take the example of a convicted criminal) was completely wrong, but I am able to view them as someone who has suffered, and their horrible actions were probably the result of some suffering they experienced. I may retain the position that they shouldn't be allowed to walk the streets freely because their experiences and suffering have led them to become people who are now a danger to others, but I allow myself, albeit with restrictions placed up on them, to wish and end to their suffering. So, I suppose in that sense, it allows me to accept an ambivalence. 

Give it a go maybe? Next time you're in Tesco buying your horse, pick a few people out and wish them happiness (probably not out loud though), based on your basic human similarities, and just see how it makes you feel. 

Perhaps together, we can change the first auto suggest here (maybe the third too...).

Oh, and I want you to be happy.